Iron Eagle

I caught a little bit of "Iron Eagle" (1986) on AMC the other night. What a perfectly execrable movie that is, yet such a product of its time. It was clearly designed for people who thought "Red Dawn" was too nuanced.

Just to recap, Jason Gedrick plays the teenage son of an Air Force pilot who has been shot down and captured by some evil Muslim country. Gedrick is trying to get the Air Force to go in and attack and save his dad, but no one wants to risk a war. So he finds a retired pilot, played by Lou Gossett, Jr. (who, after earning an Oscar for "An Officer and a Gentleman," clearly wanted to prove that he could suck, as well), and they team up on a rogue mission to steal some F-16s and rescue the POW.

One of Gedrick's friends is played by Larry B. Scott, who played the 80s archetype of the smart, skinny, funny black friend. (Scott played this role well in "Revenge of the Nerds" and "Spacecamp.") In one particularly annoying scene, Gedrick is whining that no one will help his dad. Scott says it'll work out fine. "Right, like in Iran?" Gedrick asks. "Yeah, but that was when Mr. Peanut was in charge," replies Scott, getting in a Jimmy Carter dig. Now, we have a president who won't take any crap: "Why do you think they call him Ronald Ray-Guns?"

Anyway, Gedrick trains extensively in a simulator while listening to Queen's "One Vision," a song they wrote while well into their lamentable "Radio Ga Ga" period. And this training is apparently enough to allow a teenager to destroy an entire enemy flight group. So all you kids listening to crappy music while playing flight simulators, your country needs you. Suit up.