Essential party readings I

I'm going to try to start a new feature on this blog. Any time I find a key passage that helps us understand political parties, I'll run it under "Essential Party Readings." The first comes from Jon Stewart in his book America, p. 108:

Each party has a platform, a prix fixe menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms, but remember - no substitutions. For example, do you support universal health care? Then you must also want a ban on assaults weapons. Pro-limited government? Congratulations, you are also anti-abortion. Luckily, all human opinion falls neatly into one of the two clearly defined camps. Thus, the two-party system elegantly reflects the bichromatic rainbow that is American political thought.